Self Help

How To Start Using Instagram In A Healthy Way

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Like, comment, follow; the never-ending cycle. Us millennials have created a new sense of connection with social media and it has changed our world in so many ways. We have become obsessed with our online self. It seems that over the past few years we are seeing the addiction to social media and it’s possibly getting worse.

There are not enough of us who actually have been able to use it mindfully. We are addicted to social comparison and have misused one of the abilities that creates happiness, which is ‘savoring’.

Savoring is the act of stepping outside of the experience to re-live and appreciate it.

Lawrence Erlbaum Associates have proposed that savoring, namely, regulating the emotional impact of positive events by one’s cognitive or behavioral responses, increases happiness …savoring is an important mechanism through which people derive happiness from positive events.

When using Social Media you can take photos and enjoy them in two different way:

  1. A negative effect is when you are not being mindful of the experience and are taking a photo without seeing life in a new perspective. In other words, taking a photo to take a photo. We are addicted to just taking photos, just because. We have lost touch with our true happiness and gratitude in the present moments.
  2. A positive effect is when you use the photo to see a different aspect of the thing/moment you are keeping. You are learning to see a new property and using the lens to savor. In other words, actually boosting your happiness. “Wow, I’m so lucky to be here!” “This is so awesome, I don’t want to forget this moment.”

We need to think about the way we are taking photos. Are you authentically savoring the moment being with your friends? Or is it the act of taking another food photo?

Remember when we used disposable cameras? We took photos in the moment, not knowing how the photo was going to come out. We got excited to get them developed and laughed when they came back because we savored those moments.

My realization

Last month, I realized that I didn’t love myself fully. I was hiding and not allowing myself to be authentically me, and realized I could use Instagram to find my self-love. I wanted to share my thoughts and messages, but I was scared to talk on my IG stories. So who cares, it’s just social media!? That’s the point, we shouldn’t care what others think about us. Yet, we painfully fight this human resistant daily. My self-sabotaging thoughts of “You look funny when you talk, people who do stories are fake, people will think your weird.” blah blah blah…

That day I got over it. I started talking and sharing my raw emotions and thoughts and the response was positive! People responded and the feedback was deeper than the usual comments of, “wow your so pretty, you’re body is amazing (Fire emoji) (Heart eyes emoji)”.

It was a real connection. A deep human soul connection. I had more friends tell me how refreshing and real it was. How they themselves are looking to be authentic, but find it scary. We are blocking ourselves from being our truest selves.

Happiness is living in our true authentic self.”

This sent me on a rampage of cleaning up my mind by cleaning my Instagram.

Why was I following people who I thought were so into themselves?

Why was I following women with fake features?

Why was I following friends that I would talk shit on?

I saw the destruction of thoughts that my mind was playing on me. I was lying to myself and making myself feel worse by looking at pictures on Instagram that trigger self-deprecating thoughts.

I was over my depressing thoughts and discovered these healthy habits along the way.

 

Be Mindful And Be Active About Your Choice To Go On It.

When you are more consciously active about how you are using it, you let go of social comparison. In retrospect, people’s “lives” won’t make you feel bad. The more mindful, the more you can appreciate your friend's post without comparing. Don’t go on when you bored or waiting in lines.

 

Changed My Name And Created A Brand

A girlfriend of mine one day came up with a catchy new name, and it hit me that I had to change my Instagram handle. If I looked at my IG as a business I could help shift my perspective about HOW I was using it. Even if you aren’t a business or influencer, think of yourself as an ambassador of your life. Ask yourself how are you sharing your world with others? Is it positive? Authentic? Limit yourself just as if it was work. Share only the moments that you are savoring in your life.

 

No Mornings No Nights

My best advice is do not go on your phone for the first two hours of your morning and an hour before you go to bed. Having a morning and night routine has been one of the most life changing experiences! Get an app to set up automated posting if you wish to post during these times. Get up and go for a morning stroll, NOT a morning scroll.

Check out two of my favorite Medium post about the magic of the mornings!

Your Ultimate Guide For Waking Up Early

How To Get Life-Changing Clarity Within 90 Minutes Of Waking Up

 

One by One

I started scrolling on my feed and unfollowing every account that just didn’t bring me the simple

fact of joy. This may seem easy, but I had to stop at every picture and ask myself:

Why am I following this account/person?

Here are some reasons that came to mind…

…because I feel guilty if I don’t?

…because we are ‘friends’ and if I unfollow them they will know… and unfollow me?

…because we’ve been friends of so long, but they really don’t interest me anymore?

…because I am secretly jealous of them and want to know what they are doing?

…because they followed me?

…because they are ‘famous’ and have lots of followers?

You need to ask yourself only three questions when following an account/person

  1. Do these pictures and stories bring me joy/happiness, make me smile or laugh
  2. Does it inspire me or make me feel creative
  3. Does it push my thoughts in a positive direction?

 

Curate Your Feed BETTER

There is SO MUCH marketing on IG. You are constantly flooded with “sponsored ads” and people promoting high end lifestyles, clothing, restaurantes, and beautiful people. The media produces images that are above the norm, which creates social comparison. In the Kenrick study (1993) your happiness levels actually lowers when looking at images that are above the average norm. Our minds don’t think in terms of absolutes, our minds judges relative to reference points. Time to unfollow models with bodies you will never have and people faulting rich lifestyles because it’s only making you more unhappy.

Plus don’t get stuck and limit yourself in whats out there. Support brands and accounts that are more authentic and real to what’s around you in the world. Remember everyone is curating a ‘happy’ version of their life, find what is real to you.

 

Add Accounts That Are Out Of Your Realm

If your into fashion, don’t just follow fashion accounts. You can inspire yourself but adding accounts you normally don’t follow like architecture, abstract art, inventions, gardening, vintage cars, wood carvings, etc.. This can push your creativity in so many ways, let alone open your mind to new ideas.

Here are some of my favorite artistic accounts:

@kreative_risktakers

@theunitlondon

@zhestkov

@hplus_creative

@d.signers

@designboom

@dezeen

@dope_dazy

@streetartglobe

 

Stop following fake famous and follow inspiring famous

STOP following the Kardashians!

Follow people who inspire the world like Elon Musk, Oprah or non-profits that are trying to make a difference in the world. You will feel so much better about the world and who even knows, maybe get inspired to start to making more of an impact yourself.

 

Add Some Positivity!

YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH POSITIVE LIFE QUOTES!

Here are some of my favorites:

@thegoodquote

@r.h.sin

@positivevibesquotes

 

Add Nature And Universe Accounts

You should remind yourself that you are on a rock floating in space and how truly amazing and authentic nature is. It’s so unbelievable. Remind yourself that there is a whole world around you.

I love following:

@natgeo

@earthpix

 

And the BIGGEST advise…

 

TAKE A “TECH FAST”

Once a year at minimum take at least a week break from social media or even better, your phone!

Take breaks, every few weeks, just go off social media for the weekend or a couple days. Practice not going on once a week even. I mean no one is doing anything cool on a Tuesday. Your mind will thank you.

Once a year I take a break from my phone.

I don’t like what social media and my smartphone has done to my mind. When I disconnect, I can clearly see the addiction and how it seems pointless to me in a way that it was not doing any growth to me mentally. I saw that I needed to reconnect to others and the Earth in a more personal way.

This is just one of the many reasons I love going to Burning Man — not having service and being lost in the moment for a full week! No calls, no texts, no emails, no social media. Also, burning man is not required to facilitate this, and vacation that takes you off the grid will force you off of your phone.

Once you begin to cure the addiction, you will live life much more fully.

So much more present!

You see things you would never see

YOU GET IN FLOW so much easier.

You see that the world goes on without you and you didn’t miss anything.

That it’s OK to go MIA for social media.

The connections with others was much deeper

YOU WILL BE SO HAPPY YOU DID IT!

How To Make The Most Use Of Seeing A Psychic

 Photo by  Wyron A  on  Unsplash

Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash

Psychics and mystics have bewilder us for hundreds of years by passing messages about the future from crystals, cards and unseen voices. Something about their dazzling stacked ring hands waving magically through the air as we become mesmerized. Who doesn’t want to peer into the future in order to prepare ourselves for what’s next?

Surprisingly we are actually all psychic, with no black eyeliner needed. Some of us are able to tap into it more than others. A Medium is someone who is able to be in the middle of a three way call from another light being. Hello, Billy? We also can all channel. Channeling is a way of being open to the life’s creative intuitive messages. We chanel the art we make, the projects we work on and the ideas we get.

As a psychic/medium myself, I have intuitively come to understand some things of this mystical world as my abilities have progressed over the years. In turn, it has helped me understand my own readings and how to help my own clients.

Psychics don’t know the future, but they are able to see potentials paths of the future.

Finding someone to help you uncover your messages can be a very empowering experience.

Most of the time, people don’t know what to do AFTER they have received messages from the psychic. What you do next is crucial in shifting to your reality.

Here are some keys insights when visiting your incense smelling mystic.

  • You must understand that everything is energy vibrating at different frequency. We are made of energy and that energy is constantly changing. Therefore, the roads ahead are constantly shifting. When a psychic “sees” a path in your future, remember it’s just a path. You can choose to go down that road or not. If you’re not totally in alignment at that point in your life, it might pan out the way a psychics explains.

 

  • Don’t get stuck in the… future. Psychic are reading you at the point where you are in your life now. The reading will be based on your beliefs systems and your potential in your current state. If a psychic tells you that she sees you dating a tall man with dark hair, than a week later you meet a red hair cutie, don’t dismiss him! It could just be another path. Follow your heart, take chances, write your story. Who knows, maybe he leads you to the tall dark haired man later in life?! Maybe the red hair cutie dyes his hair months later, or maybe none of this! If you get fixated on future, you could be missing out on potential paths that could lead you to great things!

 

  • We all have free-will. When you receive messages from the psychic you are now able to take that information and apply it to your life. You have free-will to do what you want with this information and it may trigger you to take actions or understand your true emotions or thoughts about something that is occuring in your life. If you don’t agree with something a psychic says listen to your emotions about it. Your emotions are your compass to life.

 

  • You must DO the work. My girlfriend kept going back to her psychic month after month wasting time and money because she didn’t use the information presented. The psychic expressed to her to focus on herself, maybe give some space from her boyfriend that she was having issues with. But she didn’t do any of those things. Things kept unraveling in high’s and low’s, so she kept going back to the psychic, who then would repeat the same message. Just because a psychic sees you successful or married doesn’t mean it magically happens. Like all things in life there are steps to take and a lot of inner work to reach your full potential and happiness! We use psychics to ask… what’s going to happen next? But the real question here is… what do I DO next?

In The End

It’s ok to want to know ‘guidance’ of certain things, but if you are looking for a definite answer to your question, you will likely be disappointed. This is because the information they communicate doesn’t come from them, it comes through them. You’ll receive what you need, not what you want. Which often can be two totally different things.

Listening to your own guidance as a psychic presents information to you. Ask yourself questions on how you can control your own thoughts. You are the creator of your own world. Go with your own gut and use their words as a possible guideline. Psychics can help you find peace in seeking the future.

so…

What actions are you going to take next?

What’s in your next chapter?


Gather your Tribe REGULARLY

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You know what’s awesome? Friends. The friends that you have deep conversations with about life and make you want to get friendship bracelets. Those friends that you vent to, get advice from and that you don’t feel judged by. Two of the biggest life boost are exercise and religious attendance. What is the secret to happiness  in these two? It’s a sense of scheduled community to them. Church on Sundays and Soul Cycle on Wednesdays.

 

When we show up regularly we are creating a sense of community, a bond and a sense of trust in those around us. So what does this have to do with friendships? I realized I had a couple of amazing friends that I always made the effort to hang out for a coffee meeting, breakfast or attend an event together, but it wasn’t just randomly. We actually set aside time to be “good friends”. Some friends I see more than others, but most of the time my closet friends I see at minimum once month.

 

When schedule work, hair appointments, and some of us have a hard time scheduling actual time to be with our close friends. Why is this so hard for some when studies show you will gain more of a well-being for life thought happiness and joy.

 

Surround yourself with the friends and people whom you admire. The people you hang around  shape the person you become. If you are seeking creativity go hang around the friends that are inspiring artist. If you want to improve your health, hang around those who have motivation and are active. This is actually the strongest and most direct path of change.

 

There are too many people who we invite or hang out with people because we feel we “should” out of guilt, shame or ego. Having ‘fake” friends and friends that we feel unsure about can actually cause stress and anxiety.

 

Your tribe/clan/inner circle sit at your table and 2017 has been about removing chairs from that table. Who are you surround yourself with moving forward? Make plans to gather those people who you really admire.


How to Live in Actually Ecstasy

” Without time in the picture, I have all the time I need.” -Jason Silva

 

Haven’t we all dreamed of living a life of happiness? Joy? What about even a life of ecstasy? Ecstasy is more than just popping a pill and living in bliss for 4 hours while dancing and telling our friends we love them forever, it’s actually a state of life that you can live without taking a drug. I was gifted a book early this month called Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler & Jamie Wheal. The book uncovers secrets that the Seals and Google founders have managed to live their lives by; they have called it STER. Four words that have become the ambassadors of ecstasis. From the idea of being “in the zone” or “in the flow” we experience a sort of alter-state of consciousness. I had just spent the first week of this month in what I experienced as STER. As I was reading this book about ecstasy I was actually living it simultaneously. How freaky right? I was completely in the flow.

 

Here are the four magic words to live in ecstasy.

 

Selflessness – The art of giving without the need to receive.  Scientists explain that when we shut off our prefrontal cortex our inner critic and nagging get turned off. A sense of real peace arises and within that, we are free from the confines of our normal identity, we are able to look at life with fresh eyes. We can find selflessness through stepping outside ourselves and gaining perspective. How? Acts of volunteering, holding space for others and giving to those in need are just simple ways. Selflessness is what we experience to gain growth in our lives. I spent some of my time last week holding space as someone went through a huge transition. I was lost in empathy for someone else and it felt amazing to be there for someone.

 

Timelessness – Is the ability to separate the past from present from future. Researchers have found when we focus our attention are we are able to processes more data quickly which makes the moments seem to last longer –  which explains the ‘now‘ feeling. When you are fully aware of your surroundings and of yourself in the present, [this] increases time. A recent study found that an experience of timelessness is so powerful it shapes behavior. People felt that they had more time, less impatient, willingness to volunteer, stronger preferences for experiences over material objects and an overall sense that ‘life is amazing!‘ Being fully present allowed me to enjoy every moment and seeing a bigger picture of the beauty of life.

 

Effortlessness – Can propel us past the limits of our normal motivation. It’s the state of being “in the flow“. It can show up when people are deeply committed to a goal. Most of the time it has a sense of synchronicity when moments align themselves and the state of being ‘in the flow‘ comes naturally. Effortlessness can come from following our passions and the action of “I did it, it felt awesome, and I would like to do it again soon!” When we listen to our intuition we are always on the right path, therefore it becomes effortless to question the experience.

 

Richness – Comes from the seeing the details in the overall bigger picture along with the present moments. It’s a sense of living in a non-ordinary state. It’s the experience of having the norepinephrine and dopamine being released into our system. We notice what is happening around us creating links and recognizing patterns. We move to an alpha state of mind increasing our intuition. We find the richness in life and sustain the present. Last week I understood the richness of life through details, seeing life as if I was in a beautiful movie as every moment folded I was lost in the ‘now’.

How To Go Through a Big Life Transition

“Life is a transition, and a transition is a life, and if you are not in transition, then something is wrong.”- Unknown

As we open these new doors to our life it may seem scary and exciting at the same time. For some of us these doors may have just presented themselves and now we must go through them at our own pace. So before we choose the direction we need to have our bags packed to truly go in style and easy through this transition.

Here are some tips to help you through this transition.

Slow Down – Breathe, meditate and or journal. These simple mindful practices can easy your thoughts and put you in a centered place in your life. Get in touch with yourself and your true feelings which help the processing of change comforting. Do these daily to find your peace.

Have Confidence – Self-worth and confidence go hand and hand. Confidence comes from within. When there is a big change in our lives, our confidence may shift. From breaks up to changing careers we must trust in “fake it will you make it” to build ourselves up. My favorite term of “DOING ME” is the motto for confidence. Do things you love, be around people who inspire you. Happiness is the key to confidence!

Find A Mentor or Guide – As we transition it’s great to have someone that you can get some support from. Whether it’s changing careers and finding someone who an expert in your field or seeing a therapist as you go through a breakup or even finding a doctor to help with health issues. Seek help and guidance to push you though.

Find Joy In A Routine – When we have a routine or structure in our lives we also get more confidence and happiness.  Check out my post about creating a health routine. Along with how my morning rituals changed my life.

How My Plants Became My Pets

Who is so cute? Is it you? Just look who pretty you are!” As I speak in a baby voice, not to a pet dog or cat, but to a plant. I saw plants the same way I saw animals. That feeling of overjoy ‘cuteness’ filled my heart to almost every plant I saw. You can only image how my hikes in nature go! Here is how plants became my pets and to their wonderful magic.

Living, breathing, beautiful nature. Plants are divinely connected to us just as animals and mother earth are all inter-connected. I grew up in northern California on an acre of land. We had gardens filled with flowers to a pear tree and blackberry bushes that lined our property. I was a flower child tomboy, climbing every tree and coming home with dirt across my face and deep in my fingernails. It wasn’t until 2012 that I had a huge shift in my life and took on a path towards “spiritual awakening“. I realised I had the ability to communicate with plants. Each plant has a spirit and each of them has different personalities. Some are shy and some are guardians, some create portals and some are healers. In the summer of 2013, I journeyed with a shaman out in Sedona, Arizona. He taught me to listen to the plants and feel their energy. We brought tobacco and scattered it along the way as offerings to the spirits of the plants. Tobacco is used as an ancient Native America offering and plants love it, it’s like catnip to them!

After coming back home, my life was never the same. I could tap in and out and listen to the plants. Soon I filled my Venice Beach apartment with more and more plants over the years. I wanted to live in a jungle and feel the energy of nature through my home.  Luckily there are many plants that are perfect for indoors and have amazing benefits such as reducing carbon dioxide, increasing humidity and even reducing levels of certain pollutants, such as benzene and nitrogen dioxide according to The Healthy Home Economist.

My plants became my pets. I talked to them, loved them and thought about them when I left town, and I even named some of them. I bought them beautiful pots and shell macrame’s to hang them. From my kitchen to the bathroom, they fill my life with joy. Was I becoming a crazy plant lady at 30? 

For anyone who wants to invite nature into their home, I do recommend checking out 10 Best Houseplants To De-Stress Your Home And Purity The Air by The Huffington Post to know what kind of plants work great indoors. As for your home, plants work great in corners, hiding outlets and hanging plants like pathos and English ivy’s are great to add magic to ceiling corners. I have a hanging pathos named Poseidon hanging in my shower. He is the Greek God of the sea and he loves being in the bathroom with all the water!

Another tip is you should always have a plant by the front door. Either outdoors or inside close to the door, or both! This is your ‘greeter’ and is a great plant to absorb energy that enters in and out your home. He in a way is like a dog always greeting when a guest comes over. You can get a tall plant or even a small one (just like how little dogs have a big bark). Mine is named Tiger Lily and she is a tall red- edged dracaena.

If you tap into your intuition, you can find out which plant belongs where in your home. You really can’t go wrong in placing certain plants around your home.  I am constantly moving some plants around to new spaces. This way the energy doesn’t stay stagnant and they get to enjoy new spaces too!

And don’t worry, even I have had my fair share of plants that have died. Just like death itself, we must accept the time they choose to leave and I always take my plants to my compost to be recycled back to the earth. Do I cry? No, but I do feel the spirit leaving and it always touches my heart.

Here’s to your new pets that are green, and sometimes furry and that can bring a lifetime of joy!