“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”
― Criss Jami
Last month really took me for a spin. I have seen myself as a strong leader and very aware of my actions and thoughts so much so that that is why I even write these articles to share with others my knowledge and confidence in my growth. I continually work on myself every day. It can be exhausting and sometimes my patience runs thin. A few days after that last eclipse, I lost my shit and broke down. I realized as much as you can be aware and in the moment, patience and timing will really tell you where you stand. I thought I was pretty good at working through my fears, I thought I was pretty good at analyzing and introspecting too. But it hit me, I had never realized how much I suck at being vulnerable. It sucks. I hate being vulnerable and not understanding what I am feeling. I hated this feeling of defeat and powerless. After taking some deep breaths I went through each thought that came up and the emotion and fear tied with it. Being a Gemini I needed to talk it out. I reached out to some of my closest friends, and released my emotions and became vulnerable. But there was one person I needed to share with the most and it was someone I wasn’t necessarily that deeply close with and being vulnerable to this person was a huge fear. I was scared, I didn’t want to seem like someone who doesn’t have their life together or is a mess emotionally. I’ve powered through my life learning to keep smiling while dancing on stage no matter how tired you are. So I did it and reached out to be vulnerable to someone new that I wanted to let in my world and cared for. And guess what? There was nothing to be scared of!
I learned a lot about myself and it all came back that we are all humans living in an un-perfect world with all sorts of un-perfect lives looking to connect and be of service to each other. After I exposed myself I connected on a deeper level with this person and myself. It couldn’t have been more beautiful to receive that divine connection. I didn’t loose my ‘power’, but I gained love and more awareness. I believed in perfect timing. I learned:
Vulnerability is not a fear-
Humans desire and are hardwired for connection. It gives us meaning and purpose. We fear deep connections that we crave in others because we feel we are not worthy. We are just afraid of being hurt.
Vulnerability is not shame-
We are so afraid that if others saw our insecurities that they won’t like us. But we all have our own craziness that most of the time makes us more beautiful than we think. You’re not alone.
Vulnerability is not perfection-
When we eat healthy with our all organic kale and coconut waters we feel in control of our lives, but not being honest about how much we love cake and learning its ok to have a bite now and then. Were are not perfect and the only way to learn and grow is from our mistakes.
Inside guidance from- http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6476/How-I-Learned-to-Be-Vulnerable.html